Love Is Love — In Honor of Pride Month

This month marks the 56th celebration of Pride Month, a time to honor the LGBTQ+ community and acknowledge its history. I do not identify as LGBTQ+, but I am deeply connected through friendships and ministry. I want to honor Pride Month with a reflection that stands with those who have been marginalized and affirms their dignity as human beings.

My understanding of the phrase Love is Love began in high school, shaped by a man whose brilliance was overshadowed by the controversy surrounding the person he fell in love with. This man was Oscar Wilde.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Oscar_Wilde

I had an assignment to pick a literary figure, read one of their works then write a biography on their lives. I chose Oscar Wilde, read The Picture of Dorian Gray, and was captivated. What began as a simple study of an author became an awakening. Through Wilde’s life, I encountered a worldview that enforced heteronormativity as the only acceptable expression of love.

As I grew older, Wilde’s story stayed with me, especially when I converted to Christianity. I was taught by a particular church not to support gay people because they were “going to hell.” I couldn’t reconcile that with the Jesus I believed in. If Christ’s arms are open wide, shouldn’t ours be too?

I wrestled with this tension for years. I remember asking in a church study group, “Where does the church stand on gay marriage?” The answer, “We pray for them,” felt dismissive. I pray for everyone. When I pressed further, the reaction was so intense it felt like lasers shooting from someone’s eyes. That moment revealed how my faith intersected with people who were not just like me, and how fear often replaces compassion.

Reflecting on that experience brings me back to Wilde’s suffering in prison and the toll injustice took on his life.

While imprisoned, Wilde wrote De Profundis, a long letter to Lord Alfred Douglas, the man he loved, and whose family ultimately had him arrested for “indecent acts.” In this letter, I encountered the raw heartache of a gifted writer punished for a love that defied society’s narrow standards.

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Wilde had lived according to expected norms: he married Constance Lloyd and had two children. But when the scandal broke, Constance fled to Europe and changed her surname to escape public backlash. Stories like Wilde’s helped me understand how common and devastating such backlash has been.

In De Profundis, Wilde wrote, “I was no longer the captain of my soul, and did not know it… There is only one thing for me now, absolute humility.” His words echo the loneliness of suffering without a hand to hold. Yet even in prison, Wilde found a spiritual connection through his reflections on Jesus Christ.

He wrote, “He saw that love was the first secret of the world for which the wise men had been looking, and that it was only through love that one could approach either the heart of the leper or the feet of God.”

This brings me to Galatians 3:28, which reminds us that we are all one in Christ; no exceptions.

As Pride Month fills the world with parades, color, and celebration, it speaks to me again about what it means to be human. It speaks of inclusiveness, of love that refuses boundaries. Falling in love is not a crime. What we do with our hate often is.

2018 San Francisco Gay Pride Parade down Market Street - Samuel Wantman

My LGBTQ+ friends have taught me that love has no boundaries. Their lives have enriched mine, revealing a beauty that offers hope for all people. Love is love, and it is a sacred seed that only we can choose to bury or nurture. May we plant our seeds in soil that allows them to grow and grow and grow, so that love continues to spread from one heart to another.

Only by grace, Tara+